Wiggle Worm

(caution- this might be a long post!)

I always knew that I wanted to breastfeed.  I didn't know a darn thing about it before I was pregnant,  but I did know that I wanted to try to breastfeed when Abigail was born. I had heard stories from others about how it didn't work out, so I kept an open mind and told myself not to get stressed out if it did not work out. 

It all started off fairly well after Abigail was born.  She nursed from me just after she was born and had a great latch.  Of course, it took me a few days to get the hang of everything, and a few different nurses to teach me in the hospital.  Once we got home, everything seemed to go well.  At first she wouldn't nurse for long at all- maybe 5-15 minutes and only one side.  Then she would close those lips and i wouldn't even be able to get my finger to open them up!! But she was gaining weight and had plenty of dirty/wet dipes, so we didn't worry.  Then all of a sudden she changed after about 1 1/2 months, and she usually nurses for about 20-30 minutes each feeding now, usually from both sides.  Not sure what changed there. But I figured it's a good thing :)

I think breastfeeding is the best way to go for all babies- first of all, it's free!! We have never had to supplement with formula but I have heard it can be expensive.  I am so thankful we haven't had to give Abigail formula.  I believe that breastfeeding is what women are supposed to do.  I know some have problems and end up not being able to breastfeed.  But I think everyone should at least try!  When you think about it, our bodies are designed for it.. just like they are designed for having babies.  God made our bodies to do those things, so we should do them! 
Breastfeeding is an amazing way to bond with your little one.  I have seen pictures of others who breastfeed and their little ones look up into mommy's eyes. For some reason, Abigail doesn't look at me, if she does she gets distracted!   But regardless, it is still bonding time.  I have to admit, when I see Daddy giving her a bottle, I get a tad jealous, even though I know it's a bottle of mommy's milk!
Breastfeeding is the best thing for baby- it has things in it that they can't even figure out how to get into formula!!  Mommies make milk especially formulated for baby's needs.  It will benefit baby as well as mommy now, and in the future. 

Abigail is now 3 1/2 months old.  She is definitely getting bigger and has always been very alert, and is now very curious about her environment.  This makes breastfeeding very difficult at times!! It seems for the last few weeks she has been a huge wiggle worm!! I call her "squigily".  She squiggles and is wiggly at the same time!! 

It makes breastfeeding very difficult.  She wiggles around, then unlatches and sometimes she will look up at me and smile..  and coo..and smile... then she goes back on...then she starts wiggling and wants to look around or at me again... sometimes she will let out a cry, and then will latch back on.  Usually, eventually, she calms down...sometimes not.  Those times I can't tell if she has gotten enough milk though.

I don't really know why or what is going on, but It can get very frustrating at times because I want to make sure she is getting enough to eat!!  I am not sure if the problem is ME or if it's just her being curious.   I always have worried if I have enough milk or not, so of course my immediate reaction is "is she getting enough? is my supply going down?" . 

I work part time and have to pump a few times at work, so I am always concerned in the back of my mind that it won't work out and my supply will drop down.  When I am at work, she takes a bottle with my expressed milk so I then have the worry that she will start liking the bottle more then me.  She usually only gets 2 bottles when I am at work, and that is usually only 4 days a week.  Every now and then on weekends, but we try not to do that unless absolutely necessary.

I guess my ultimate worry is that eventually she will want only bottle and no mommy...and I don't want to deal with that. I hope I don't have to. I have been back to work 2 months now, and things have been great.  I want them to continue that way.... but now I am dealing with this wiggle worm-ness.  I just hope it's a stage she is going through, and that she is not starting to like bottle over me.

She is not like this all of the time.  Most times she nurses just fine and isn't "squigily" so I am not sure what the difference is.  I just know that when she is, I tend to over worry and stress myself out.

Has anyone else been through this??  Anyone have any opinions?  Should I do anything different?  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!