Change might be coming for our family in the next couple of months.
For those of you who don't know, Ryan has applied to the Maryland State Police. He had thought about doing it before he started working at ECI, but then got the job at ECI and put that thought on the backburner. When he returned to work after taking 6 weeks of paternity leave, he decided he really wanted to apply for this. He wants more "fulfillment" out of a job. He wants a career, something he couldn't see himself having as a correctional officer. He really wants this.
After Abigail was born, I guess something triggered the thought again in his mind and he started seriously looking into it. He attended the orientation which is the starting point of the application process. Like getting hired for ECI as a correctional officer, getting hired to be a state policeman is a lengthy process with many steps.
The first step was to take a fitness test. He had to travel across the Bay Bridge. He had to run a mile (or maybe longer?) in so many minutes. He had to be able to do so many push ups and sit ups within a certain time period, as well as other things. They tested him on his ability to fire a gun.
He passed that, so the very same day he took a written exam. He found out a few days after it that he passed.
The next step was to complete the application and polygraph testing book. We had to gather all sorts of documents for the application, it took quite some time. We finally got it mailed off after Christmas and almost immediately he heard back to schedule his medical exam and psychological exam. He had to travel across the bridge again, 3 different times!! He just finally got all of that completed last week and this week. He had to get immunizations that he didn't have record of ever getting. What a process so far!
Yesterday he had an interview at the local state police barracks. It was a panel interview, in front of 3 state policemen (lieutenants and sargeants?). He was told he did well afterward, and he feels good about it. The next and last step is the polygraph test, which is scheduled for next week.
Everything is moving right along. A little too fast for me. See, the one thing that I have mixed feelings about is the training. The next training academy starts this March 28th. It is outside of Baltimore, and he will have to stay there during the week and will be permitted to come home on certain weekends if he doesn't accumulate a certain number of demerits. The training is 6 1/2 months long!! Such a long time. Basically, he would graduate right around Abigail's FIRST birthday. It just seems like a long time, even though I know I am blessed to be able to see him every now and then. It could be worse.
I have to be supportive, I want to be supportive. I WILL be supportive. But I just hate that he has to be away!! I wish there was a training academy on the eastern shore so he could be closer. I know in the summer it will take him sooo long to get home, across that bridge :/ I also dislike the fact that he will miss a lot with Abigail. He will basically miss the 2nd half of her 1st year...if that makes any sense!
He doesn't like that part either. I feel like I will be very alone with raising her. I hope she will know who he is when he gets done, with not seeing him much.
God has blessed us right now with the fact that our schedules have worked out so that we didn't have to put Abigail in childcare. I work in the morning to early afternoon, and Ryan stays with Abigail then. Then I come home and he goes to work in late afternoon/evenings and I am with her. We only have to rely on someone to watch Abigail every now and then for maybe 2 hours at the most. It is nice not having to take her to daycare (not to mention we save a lot of money!) Daycare is something I have never wanted to do.
I know God has a plan. I know that. But I still worry. I know the Bible says in the book of Matthew 'Don't worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough troubles of its own.' I know that. ButI still worry.
We won't know for sure that Ryan has been offered a "final" offer of emplyment until after everything is completed. Then what?
I will have to find child care, which I have been told is difficult around here for an infant. And I won't have a whole lot of time to find it... I know it can be difficult to find last minute. And how will we afford it?? It's so expensive. I really don't want to put her in a daycare... I don't know anyone who does daycare. I don't know who to trust. I have a few people who could watch her here at home but not 4 days a week. I am not sure what we are going to do.
I am just really stressing out lately about this. I just am praying that everything will fall into place. I can't do anything until I know more for sure. But I do know that, now that we have everything worked out...we will have to figure out a new plan. Because change is coming. That is what life is about, right? Adapting to change. I am generally good with change, but I am not sure about this one.
Pray for me (and our family) please!!