Today I happened to end up in a conversation with one of our dialysis patients who isn't particularly religious but he did make a good point that I agreed with- living a Christian life is mainly about faith. He reminded me that Christians walk by faith, not by sight.
I struggle with this sometimes. Especially here lately. I worry constantly, but I am better than I used to be. I have blogged about my worries before. God answers prayers. I see that every single day. Worrying is not trusting that God will take care of everything.
God takes care of everything. Every little thing. It might not be our way, or the way that we prayed for, but He takes care of it His way. His timing. Not our timing. It is very difficult to accept that in this world. We tend to want things our way. Our way and God's way can be different sometimes. We need to live our lives knowing that God will take care of everything. Not worrying about whether he will or not. Easier said than done, I think.
Ryan still has an opportunity for a new job (I won't go into details until he actually knows whether he is accepted or not). He has struggled with just one part of the entire application process, one part of a test. He has passed everything else, as far as we know. He has had two tries with this test and continued to struggle with just one section. He was informed almost 3 weeks ago he was to retake the test, and never heard a word. Of course, we assumed that he did not make it in and have been going about our business. Why would they wait that long and not contact him?? We knew the training starts on March 28th which is VERY soon, so we just assumed he did not make it in. How would he give notice at his current job? How would be make sure child care is set in place? We figured they would have contacted him by now, if they wanted him to retake the exam.
Today, much to our surprise, he received a phone call, and he indeed has a third time to take this test. A third time. Who gives third chances anymore? Who receives third chances anymore? He takes it on Friday, at a completely different place this time. He has a different attitude about it now, which we are hoping helps.
From what I can tell, Ryan feels led to this job. He has for quite some time now. He feels like he needs to do this. I am supportive. But scared nonetheless. He has a dangerous job now. This job would be more dangerous, in a way. And now he has a child... a 5 month old. He will miss a lot of her milestones if he does end up in this training where he is away all week. One positive thing is he will be able to return most weekends.
We walk by faith, not by sight.
Despite my worrying.... I do have faith. I always have. I have faith that if this is God's will, then it will be. Things will work out. Child care will fall into place. The finances will be okay. Pop Pop always said things that you often worry about seldom ever happen. He also often said that "things will work out- In one way or another, it will work out".
We walk by faith, not by sight.
If this job is God's will for our family, then He will allow things to work out. Our lives are in His hands. He ultimately knows our future. If not, then we will continue to pray for whatever God has in store for us.
I am letting Go and Letting God- that is something I took from Chrysalis retreat back in high school and never forgot. Just Let GO and LET God. Let God handle everything. Why worry? Where will that get me. Nowhere... just stressed out and wore out.
I have always loved the song by Jeremy Camp- Walk By Faith:
Jeremy Camp- Walk By Faith
Lyrics:
Would I believe you when you would say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day
Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me
Help me to win my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
With one breath You make me new
Your grace covers all I do
Well I'm broken- but I still see Your face
Well You've spoken- pouring Your words of grace
I will walk, I will walk, I will walk by faith
I will, I will, I will walk by faith
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